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26 Nov 2008

Eviction of a homeless person?

I'll never forget this piece of paper.

Notice of eviction `To the persons unknown in the carpark`

26 Oct 2008

Expectations affects others

I once read that expectations create the outcome.
Also stated as if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.

This, I found to have truth in it.
However, one day, I thought I'd test it and see if it effects other people too.

Whilst working nightshift I decided to act (in mannerisms and such) as if I was the boss. To my amazement the real boss started asking me what to do!

I came to the amazing conclusion that expectations don't just create my outcome, but can influence others as well!!

This was amazing. But I have recentgly stumbled upon a paper supporting this. Here is an Abstract:
"Hundreds of research studies have demonstrated that one person's expectations for the behavior of another person can actually affect that other person's behavior"...
and the paper

Author: Rosenthal R.

Source: Current Directions in Psychological Science, Volume 12, Number 5, October 2003 , pp. 151-154(4)

Publisher: Blackwell Publishing

Credit Crunch Conspiracy, Predictions and so forth

1) Take a magnet to a copper coin.
Some are magnetic, some aren't.

This is inflation.

2) Credit crunch opportunities? = buy things for cheaper than before. Does this allow for power change?

3) Will paper money be phased out and replaced with digital money?

Regards talk. Average and reverse all advice read?

4) Regards metals. Fiscal devices have lost trustworthiness so have to go the effort and buy the real thing.

23 Aug 2008

Recieve txts without a phone signal

At http://fishtext.com you can rent a number that you can send and recieve txts from and to.

I've been looking for something like this. It means people can txt me while I'm on a boat and I can see that message over satellite internet.

24 Mar 2008

People are safer than you think

What stops us from doing what we really want to do?

I personally think the world is made out to be a lot more dangerous than it really is.

Yes, going out in Lagos on your own is not a good idea. But it's not a good idea because you are a walking goldmine.

Watching TV and the western world appears as a mass of murder and violence. It's designed to keep people apart. Truth is much more boring than this.

Things I've seen done with no ill harm:
- walking through Lagos at night as a white man in his 50's (fellow traveler; no harm)
- walking through England south west's most dangerous street at night... in full drag!
- camping through the outback alone as a woman (friend)
- surfing alone hundreds of times
- picking up hitchhikers
- enjoying a Brazillian favvella funk street party (multiple friends)
- taking drugs in the middle of Australian nowhere with a bar room brawl going on throwing people through windows (watch on)
- staying in a campervan for 2 years (a friend)

If female you have more value to lose and is visible.

Take precautions in life and be careful but don't let fear be a prison.

And also, who cares what other people think of us if we never see them again anyway?

There's a difference between being on the rails and free and just on the rails.

21 Feb 2008

There's more to search than knowing how to `use` google

So, you know all your boolean operators.

You know abuot advanced search.

You know how to search for certain filetypes and dates, linkto, site:, and so on.

But guess what, none of that is much use if you don't know what words to search for!

What I'm looking for here is help and inspiration on looking for a particular thing.

Let's say we want a medical profile on a spamword.
How do we get the result we want without all the adverts?

In fact, why when we search for things sometimes is the word not even in the results?

And what about finding associated words and using this in the search? What about techniques like that?

There are more tricks, like searching for a telephone area code along with what you are looking for.

But all these tricks are undocumented and everybody reinvents the wheel in trying to find what they are after.

So, where can I find info?

And, if you tell me or someone to just google for something, tell them the word or phrase they should be looking for.

For example, let's say we wanted a clip art image of a happy horse. Not just a horse, but a smiling one. Perhaps it is better to search for a situation where that may be present instead? See what I'm saying?

Use of google needs to evolve and be recorded. Does it come under dataming books?

7 Feb 2008

Women; selfish by design?

`I don't want to think that you wouldn't want to see me if there was no possibility of me being your man. Because to think that would make me feel like a tool. Someone who helped you in life in exchange for sex. I don't ever want to think that. That doesn't make me feel good. What I look for is someone who makes me feel they love me even if they got little in return. Someone who loves me for who I am. The real deal. That's why I don't want to carry on.`

But when I mention this to a friend he said: `A woman's loyalty is only to herself and her children.`

Am I chasing rainbows?

6 Feb 2008

Jurrassic Park Dream

We've arrived on a lost island.
The weather is ok but the geography is awe inspiring. You love this.
Or rather the other you does. Because it's not just us.
There are 2 yous. On my left side is the woman I respect, the you I respect and identify with. I feel honour for this side. But on the other side we have another form of you with us. It's a whimpering child-like you. But younger. She's a liability in a place like this that feels quite dangerous. Secretly I love her but I'm overcoming this. I put up with her.
As we're walking towards the foothills towards the mountains the scenery changes. Based on what I saw earlier I want to go one way, but the older you suggest to go another. You put your point across as to why we should go your way. I think about it and somehow it just makes sense. Somehow I don't notice that it seems like the only way now. I consider you opinion and give it the ok.
We now follow your path.

We come to a valley. This worries me because of a sudden this is a island of the jurrassic park variety. The young you wouldn't be able to handle this thought.

I then spot my worst nightmare; a raptor over the hill. I'm the only one who can handle this situation. Somehow I transmit to you both what to do and you both come to me. The raptor comes to us and I need to tell you both to be still, doing so is risky but it works.
We are all close together, all 3 of us as the dinosaur draws inches to our faces. The you to my left is hardly in my thought because you are handling it well. But the whimpering younger you to my right is whimpering and generally being pathetic. I can't worry for her, we will not be drawn in at this moment. The dinosaur hovers a millimeter from my face and I can feel it's warm breath. It's takes incredible discipline to not react. But I'm the only one with an active part. I'm even breathing out slowly to mask my breath. But do it I do and I hold it off.
But there's nothing I can do about the whimpering you on my right, I can't say anything because it would kill us all.

Then, all of a sudden the whimpering can't stand it. She cries out and makes a bolt for it. I wake up. We know what probably happened next.

That was my dream.

I think sometimes you have to give up fun to be get on. Not a good thing to feel. I think the dream was preparing me for what to do if passion put me in jepody - be strong and don't bite.

21 Jan 2008

On Morals

Today I found myself giving my farther fatherly advice.

He's a highly moral man.

I've had my adventures with moral recently. I've had my lessons.

While I was with my girlfriend I had my opportunities to cheat. I didn't. That's ok. But I also felt guilty creating emotional connections to other women. When the relationship broke up I had nothing.

If we feel something is wrong are we really considering the results of our actions or are we simply acting according to how we feel we should? That is, are these morals our own creation or someone else`s?

In my father's case he felt trapped. He would never screw anyone and he seemed adamant about that. In his mind he felt he would have to screw someone to get out of a very awkward professional situation.

I could see the parallels to the game of love. And if anything I have been playing hard in this the past 2 years. The lessons have been hard. But while life is hard I can in this case appreciate the hardness of life lessons. In this time I found that some of my morals were worth defending. But some of my morals I don't know where they came from. They seemed illogical, keeping me in a jail. Thoughts like sex is bad, making money is wrong. Of course we have to have morals but I'm not going to be held hostage by someone influencing me to do nothing while they plunder all. If the good sit back and do nothing the others will help themselves.

Morals bind us together. We have to be bound together. But they also control and influence. Think logically. If the action has a negative influence I don't recommend doing it. For me, I know that if I do something wrong I will punish myself. There's just something in me that does that; a gene. The moral of random sex is bad was relevant when condoms didn't exist. That moral protected society. Is it relevant anymore? Actually, yes it still does have some relevance. Giving a girl emotional involvement and then cutting her off has a damaging effect even with physical protection. View it this way and you are thinking clearly.

If you are a good person you totally deserve this.

Single again, free to roam

oh Dear Diary, :p

another relationship comes to an end.

It's been a hard 2 years. But because it's been hard I've learnt a lot. If ever there was a relationship designed to teach a strong mentality this would have been it.

Romance - `yuk`, weak leadership - `I don't feel like it tonight`.

A challenging relationship. I felt I could do anything. I felt like a million dollars, like I could change the world and change her to something she wasn't. I might have tried all my life to change her and never given up.

Love isn't enough. Passion isn't enough. I know this because we had it. It needs work. It needs promises. This is Juggler territory, but don't compartmentalize, life is all one. Love and lust are different but also in the same arena.

What can be learnt?

The story.

We'd been together a year and a half. I was send away on work for 4 months. Halfway through I broke down a little but I kept non approach game up. The self worth of being in love made me awesome. One night 4 girls qued up one after the other to hug me and say goodbye. Another and this girl is rubbing her cheek against mine. I feel like my genes are fully activated and I'm expressing how I really am for once in my life.

But then, something feels wrong. After not seeing my girl for 4 months I suddenly relise I can do better. I have had kinder girlfriends, that's the main thing. Interest from prettier girls is just a bonus, and not something I'd think about had I not been away for so long.

So I call her up. We've already booked a holiday together. I suggest selling the place. But the name can't be changed. After giving away my feelings she says `but you're only the most amazing person I've met`. I feel regret but wonder if this is her gaming me. We decide to not be a couple on the holiday. This is going to be very hard I tell myself.

I am now in the situation of sleeping in the same bed as a LJBF, both of us naked and both of us in love with each other. She says it's better not to touch. She's right but she's alpha'ed me again.

As the holiday goes on I be myself. With no intentional game (pure natural) and inhibited only by my sorrow for not being with her every other woman in the shallay is attracted to me. Unfortunately, because I have been faithful (a value core to my identity), I have no experience in converting this attraction and comfort to something more (seduction).
As she witnesses this attraction my ex becomes attracted to me once again. That night I find myself saying `I would pay £10 for a hug with you, you know` she does but leaves before fair. I say because of this I won't pay. This gets my ego out of a bad one. I then ask `how much for another?` to my amazement she says `free`. But auto-pilot sneaks though and I escalate to a kiss too quickly, falling into old habits, forgetting it's been so long and she's sensitive. `sorry I can't do this` she says and I relise I've blown it. She's unintentionally prick teased me and my hormones are raging in me. As I try to sleep she moans pretending to be asleep and pulls the covers off. But now I don't want to do it and she's teasing me. But I can do better than her and this isn't going to help me get over her. I get about an hour's worth of sleep as my resting heart rate levels off at 140bpm. I hate her and imagine grabbing her passionately and giving her that excuse of `he did it to me`.

The next day things actually clear up. We spend the day together and I'm reminded of why she's a bad choice even if it is a strong love. I avoid her as best I can.

Meanwhile I'm building from M1 and M2 with every other girl in the shallay. But M3 seems impossible and not advisable as I do want to split with this girlfriend. That would be out of my depth. I never do get this far. I resolve to study this. That stage (M3) has always been a leap and that's not natural. It has to be as natural as sliding into a hot bath. Need to work on this. I should start by helping cheering up some lonely big girls.

At the end of the week all the girls hug me goodbye. I wonder if I can build on this success. It's a great environment. But I worry the success was due to social proof from the ex girlfriend. She's been posing me off, DHV'ing me to make herself look good (because she's so obvious it makes me cringe). Could she actually be trying to pass me off to another girl out of the goodness of her heart? Does she have a heart now? I ponder this ray of hope.

Meanwhile on the ski slopes I go recklessessly fast. I find if I'm on the limit my mind is free of her. But every contact back with her sets me back to zero. Especially sleeping at night. We never do have sex. As a result of this though my testosterone feels like a train. When she's not in my mind I am confident and powerful. A man on the slopes leading a group of 30 (i.e. higher status) swears at me for going too fast. I confront him in the most quietly and cooly alpha of ways. I feel I could break his neck, nothing to lose, a man quite literally possessed. Never before have I felt this way. Suddenly it seems sexual frustration makes the world go round, and it's not such a bad thing.

And so, here I am. Alone, frankly. A hill to climb. The game will soon be all I have.
Or have I? I haven't completed a cold approach though all the way, my wing's approaches being the big successes. Plus the m3 problem. It's scary. I'm hot now, but loneliness is still the default.

But in time I've built things. A friend has a new network through a new girlfriend that's useful. There is now the option of online dating and speed dating.
By links from my wing are now gone as he has moved. That seems tough. I have to look at something else to be socialable. Time for a new wing and number close that prospect.
I lost the AA on holiday but perhaps that's a different environment. I will now need to be socialable as much as possible. And I'll need those cold approaches. Travel can help me here. Adventures to be had.
The challenge to prevent the sex agenda.

Now I want to travel the world. Morroco or back to the slopes for a base. 2 friends in Australia to explore, a friend in south america to explore. Now I will analyse those prospects with a PUA perspective. Where will the game lead me to my new home?

- get in touch with your feminine side. Helps bridge the gap
- be socialable, meet people
- keep a group, group your populaism
- serve your group, look out for people, be good